Monette’s Mindful Management: Wants, Needs And Pajamas, Part I of III

Mindful management is a term I share when I’m coaching and assisting others. I desire to share mindful management moments with you.

Monette’s Mindful Management: Wants, Needs And Pajamas, Part I of III
November 2009

By Monette Benoit
Copyright by Monette Benoit, All Rights Reserved.

Part II may be read November 15, 2009:
Part III may be read November 30, 2009:

Back-to-school for young adults (junior high) is momentous, yes? This year pre-back-to-school events in my family created a lifetime lesson. Sometimes a whole lesson – to include multiple generations with learned experiences – is summed up with a few words in my family.

Two nephews ‘needing’ items for back-to-school sat on my couch, head down. Their father, my brother, due to our economy, is unemployed. Pennies are tight; the young adults know this. Both are in honors classes. One recently earned a 100 on his TAKS, Texas Assessment of Knowledge and Skills, test. He does not speak about this; he doesn’t “think it’s a big deal.” Instead he focuses on football and X-box …

I decided to have a “Hey, it’s Back-to-School Event!” to create adventure, fun and to help where I may.

The nephews smiled – and spoke about football practice, and what they will need for football. They did not share items for school and chose their words carefully. Then their mother said, “They need shoes.”

I calculated an amount and gave each nephew the total, so they could pick what they wanted. Note I use the word ‘want’ while others used ‘need’.

My husband, their WBU, World’s Best Uncle, set off with two eager young men, one on each side. I thought all was right with the world.

That evening when my husband returned he said, “That was work!”

Me: “Work? It was fun, right?”

Husband: “No, it was work!!!”

I phoned my nephews. Each was reluctant to share.

In summary, their uncle had stuck to the ‘need’ list given to them by a parent. That night I learned one nephew had new shoes. One had items he needed.

Each had received a new package of socks, which – they needed.

My reaction was, “Socks????”

I could not fathom how the T-shirts and jeans we had spoken about that afternoon did not materialize in their hands and closets. I learned that the ‘need’ list was the only shopping list that day.

Rather than upset everyone Saturday evening, I listened, then waited until the next morning to phone after church.

I began the Sunday phone conversation, “Hey, it’s Part II of the Back-to-School ‘Wants’ Special, and this event is for Wants.”

When the nephews arrived shortly thereafter, I asked each, “What is it that you want?” They sat silent, head down.

I softly asked if I could share an experience from my childhood. The boys nodded.

Part II will be posted November 15, 2009. Contributing Editor, Monette Benoit, B.B.A., CRI, CPE, may be reached at and for private coaching.

Monette Benoit may be reached at:

Monette Benoit, B. B.A., CCR, CRI, CPE, Paralegal
Motivation Management & Life Coach,
Tutor and Multiple Title Author of Books & Test Prep for the Court Reporting & Captioning Industry
Realtime Court Reporter, Instructor, Consultant, Columnist

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Coaching topics include:

* Motivation skills to keep you moving forward,
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* Veteran court reporters and captioners brushing up on their skills for test-taking requirements,
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* Students and veterans alike who find they’re struggling with one or two key areas of daily practice,
* Students or veterans who have begun to question their career or whether they’re on the “right track” …

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About Monette Benoit:

As a 25+year court reporter, CART provider, author of NCRA test prep material and an instructor, Monette Benoit has taught multiple theories, academics, all speed classes and the 225 homeroom within NCRA-approved schools and a community college. She understands the challenges many adults now face in our industry and schooling.

Monette Benoit has worked with thousands of professionals, court reporters, students and instructors. She has also helped create new court reporting training programs, worked with federal grants, and assisted instructors in developing curriculum for both in-class and at-home students.

Her one-on-one tutoring has greatly assisted thousands of students, novice and experienced professionals to privately reach the next level.

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